“The strongest predictor of a child’s wellbeing is a parent’s self-understanding.”
– Dr. Dan Siegel –
Divorce signals the end of an intimate partnership for adults, but not the end of a family for children, and definitely not the end of co-parenting for parents. Many people find themselves with a post-decree parenting plan that either isn’t working for the family anymore, or is causing more confusion than clarity. What may have been the best plan at the time of divorce is no longer the best plan, and parents may even have different ideas about what changes should be made and how those changes should be implemented.
As Dan Siegel’s quote above suggests: one of the best gifts we can give our children is the gift of being aware of our own strengths, weaknesses, triggers, illusions, dreams, needs, tender spots, expectations, motivations, and blindspots. People who are even just a little bit self-aware, soon realize that marriage reveals many of these things, and parenting is like standing in a bright, blinding spotlight. Not only do we become keenly aware of our own motivations during these times in life; the people with whom we are living our lives either benefit or suffer from our level of awareness and our willingness to remain curious, open and committed to growth (most especially, our children).
My own journey of co-parenting has been my greatest teacher, and I am passionate about helping people find ways to navigate their journey with awareness, courage, and we can’t forget humor! There’s no way to look at ourselves honestly without the ability to simultaneously hold our best intentions alongside our fumbles and mishaps!
If you find yourself looking for a co-parent coach or mediator, and the philosophy I’ve talked about above resonates with you, please don’t hesitate to reach out. I offer mediation services to help you work through acute situations, and I also offer on-going co-parent coaching to help you grow as co-parents.
Your family may live in two homes now, but you can still work together to give your child/children a cohesive sense of family which is loaded up with confidence, love, respect, and belonging!
